Chapter 11 Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management

accommodating style
A conflict management style where you sacrifice your own needs for the sake of the needs of the other person.
pg 296
argumentiveness
A willingness to argue for a point of view, to speak one’s mind. Distinguished from verbal aggressiveness. Avoid aggressiveness (attacking the other person’s self-concept); instead, focus logically on the issues, emphasize finding solutions, and work to ensure that what is said will result in positive self-feelings for both individuals.
pg 309
avoidance
An unproductive conflict strategy in which you take mental or physical flight from the actual conflict.
pg 305
avoiding style
A conflict management style that suggests that you are relatively unconcerned with your own or with the other’s needs or desires.
pg 296
beltlining
An unproductive conflict strategy in which one person hits the other at a vulnerable level — at the level at which the other person cannot withstand the blow.
pg 307
collaborating style
A conflict management style in which your concern is with both your own and the other person’s needs.
pg 296
competing style
A conflict management style that represents great concern for your own needs and desires and little for those of others.
pg 295
compromising style
A conflict management style that is in the middle; there’s some concern for your own needs and some concern for the other’s needs.
pg 296
conflict styles
The approach to conflict resolution; for example, competing, avoiding, accommodating, collaborating, and compromising. Choose your conflict style carefully; each style has consequences. in relationship conflict, look for win-win (collaborating) solutions rather than solutions in which one person wins and the other loses (competing, avoiding, or accommodating).
pg 295
equality
An attitude that recognizes that each individual in a communication interaction is equal, that no one is superior to any other; encourages supportiveness. Opposed to superiority.
pg 299
face-attacking strategies
Strategies that attack a person’s positive face (for example, comments that criticize the person’s contribution to a relationship or the person’s ability) or a person’s negative face (for example, making demands on a person’s time or resources that attack the person’s autonomy). Avoid using these strategies; they’re likely to cause additional conflict and resentment.
pg 307
face-enhancing strategies
Strategies that support and confirm a person’s positive face (praise, a pat on the back, a sincere smile) or negative face (giving the person space and asking rather than demanding), for example. Use strategies that allow others, ever you opponents in conflict, to save face.
pg 307
gunnysacking
An unproductive conflict strategy of storing up grievances — as if in a gunnysack — and holding them in readiness to dump on the other person in the conflict. Avoid it; it leads you away from considering a workable solution to a problem.
pg 300
interpersonal conflict
Disagreement between two connected persons.
pg 291
nonnegotiation
An unproductive conflict strategy in which an individual refuses to discuss the conflict or to listen to the other person; a strategy to resist compliance without any attempt to compromise; you simply sate your refusal to do as asked without any qualification.
pg 306
silencers
Unproductive conflict strategies (such as crying) that literally silence your opponent.
pg 306
verbal aggressiveness
A method of arguing in which one person attacks the other person’s self-concept.
pg 308
win-lose strategies
Conflict management strategies that seek a resolution in which one person wins and the other loses.
pg 305
win-win strategies
Conflict management strategies that seek a resolution in which both parties win.
pg 305